Is It Okay to Have Sex on the First Date?

Are we seriously still having this conversation in 2024?

Is it okay to have sex on the first date?

Let me preface this by saying– yes, it is totally, 100% okay to have sex on the first date or link up. 

However, the question of whether you should is more nuanced, especially for women, as outdated societal norms might influence their decisions. It’s 2024 and some women still fear being labeled a "hoe" if they engage in first-date sex. L.M. (21) expressed, “Due to societal views, I think I would be viewed as easy or not ‘wife material,’ even though women have needs just like males and should be allowed to explore that.”

A woman’s response often mirrors societal expectations regarding how they should use their bodies. Whether influenced by religion, inherited parental beliefs, or mass media, societal norms and pressures can strongly shape a woman’s decision to abstain from first-date sex.

Interestingly, men also grapple with the decision to engage in first-date sex. While social pressures play a lesser role in their decision-making process, some men still contemplate their choices. Some men, like D.D. (24), prioritize sending a deliberate message to potential partners. “I refused sex on the first link-up because I wanted to remember it for more than just sex. I didn’t want it to have one-night stand vibes. You know, the smash and delete type scenario,” D.D. explained.

Fortunately, our generation has adopted a contemporary mindset that champions sexual liberation and decries the policing of women’s bodies. The idea of whether first-date sex is deemed acceptable is gradually losing relevance among us. Thankfully, a growing number of us recognize that what someone does with their body is their own choice and, ultimately, their own business. I mean, we're all grown (ish), so we all should be granted the autonomy to make decisions about our bodies without the burden of judgment.

So, should you have sex on the first date?

Well, it depends. There are times when first-date sex is favorable, and when it’s not. It's important to note that there's no one-size-fits-all solution to addressing the question of first-date sex, but here’s a good rule of thumb:

If both parties are genuinely enthusiastic and feel comfortable with the idea, and there's clear communication and mutual respect, then first-date sex can be a positive experience. However, if there's any hesitation, uncertainty, or pressure involved, it might be best to wait. Either way, trust your instincts, prioritize your well-being, and know that whatever you choose to do is completely up to you.

So, let’s get it on! (Or not, no pressure, wink).