How to Make Friends as An Adult
A social anxiety-friendly guide to making friends as a young adult.
Kulture Magazine
Who remembers how easy it was to make friends as a kid? It was as simple as asking, "Wanna be friends?" on the playground. From elementary through high school, building friendships felt like a breeze. Surrounded by familiar faces, connecting with others was effortless, and if one friendship fizzled out, there was always someone new to bond with.
Now that we’re on our own, (and we aren’t in school for 8 hours a day), making genuine connections is hard AF. As adults, forging genuine connections takes a bit more effort. We can't rely on the same old routine of seeing familiar faces day in and day out. Now we have to put ourselves out there and let's be real, that's not always a walk in the park, especially if you're battling social anxiety.
Whether you’re a recent grad starting a new job in a new city, or simply on the lookout for people who vibe with your latest Netflix obsession, the struggle is real. Wanting friends but not knowing where to start? Been there, felt that. But here are a few tips that might help you find your new twin!
Start Small:
Making friends doesn’t have to be a big feat, luckily, some of the best connections begin with small encounters. If you keep bumping into the same person every day, why not just say "hi"? Try complimenting something you like about them—people love talking about themselves. Either way, low-pressure conversations like these are a great way for you to get comfortable talking with people.
Light small talk is the best way to shoot your shot at a new friendship. Keep at it, and before you know it, you'll feel more at home chatting with them. Who knows? You might even discover some shared interests along the way!
Find Common Ground:
People don’t just call their friends 'twin' for no reason; it’s because they both share common interests. But finding those like-minded individuals doesn’t happen by chance—you have to make an effort. Consider getting involved in community events, college clubs, or online social groups like Discord for those dealing with social anxiety. Whether it's joining a book club, attending a cooking class, or volunteering, bonding over shared passions can make those initial interactions much more comfortable and enjoyable.
Ask to Hang Out (and don’t overthink it):
Once you’ve successfully shot your shot, now it’s time to bag your potential friend. But trust me, it's not as intimidating as it may seem. If you click with a possible friend and want to deepen your bond, suggest grabbing lunch or going out for drinks.
It’s even easier to ask if you both share similar interests. If you both smoke, suggest matching up; if you both love anime, propose a watch party. Whatever you choose, remember that like any other relationship, the worst they can say is no.
Be Authentic:
It's disappointing when you believe you've found a new friend, only to realize they're not as genuine as you thought. From the start, it's crucial to always stay true to yourself when engaging with others; after all, it's what makes you unique!
If you feel like you can’t truly be yourself around potential friends, just ‘gone head and move on. Compromising yourself for others isn’t worth it. There are plenty of people out there who will appreciate your quirks and vulnerabilities, and these are the friends you’ll want to stick around.
Be Consistent:
Don’t be that person who hangs out with someone once, and never spins back. I’ve done it before, and feel like I’ve missed out on some genuine connections. Real friendships require consistency—continuously spending time together, checking in, and being there for each other are all essential components.
So, making friends as an adult isn’t exactly like playing tag at recess, but it’s definitely doable if you're willing to step out of your comfort zone and have faith in yourself.
