4 Dating Trends That Prove We’ve Given Up On Love
Are we all just having fun, or do we really have commitment issues?
Courtesy: Cristiannegroni
Dating can be… complicated to say the least. From the awkward “talking stage” to moving beyond it, getting to the coveted relationship stage takes a lot of work (if you’re lucky enough).
It’s no wonder today many young Black adults yearn for that old-school, pre-smartphone, courting type of love that the digital age has pretty much wiped out.
With social media and dating apps giving us access to countless people, our options feel endless, leaving many stuck in a cycle of meeting and deleting on a whim. In seconds, you can swipe right on someone—hoping to strike up a conversation—and delete them just as quickly.
With these four dating trends, it’s easy to see why our generation seems to have given up on love.
4 Dating Trends that Prove We’ve Given Up on Love
1. Situationships
If you’re a young Black adult, chances are you’ve been in a situationship before. You know, that stage when you’re romantically involved with someone, but technically aren’t in an exclusive relationship.
According to data from YouGov, half of 18-to 34-year-olds have been in a situationship, which is crazy when you think about it. Are we so afraid of commitment that we'd rather "go with the flow" than settle down? Or, have we lowered our expectations so much that we’re willing to accept almost relationships instead of the real thing?
Well, it's kinda exactly that. As one young Black man put it in a previous Kulture Magazine article: “I think many of us have trust issues and fear looking stupid, so we continue this cycle of hurt, cheating, and acting on desire over genuine connection.” – J.W., 22.
We're all just, scared I guess. And since so many people are taking the casual route, finding someone who truly wants exclusivity and long-term commitment feels almost impossible. At this point, it’s like we’ve collectively decided that love—at least the way we used to define it—just isn’t worth the effort.
2. Rosters
If the idea of a situationship isn’t haunting enough, meet its other half: rosters. The sports term “roster” typically refers to a team’s lineup, but in dating, it’s been redefined as the list of people someone sees. Or, as Kali aptly put it: “I got hoes in different area codes.”
There’s nothing wrong with having options; it’s actually pretty common in the earlier stages of dating—getting to know multiple people at once. But it seems like we young adults just can’t decide what we want (or if we want anything at all). Whatever the reason is, having a roster is an easy way to enjoy multiple partners at once without the fear of commitment. (Alexa: play "No Love" by August Alsina)
3. Ghosting
I’m sure we all know what ghosting is by now. But for those who are lucky enough to have never been ghosted (mbn), it’s when someone suddenly stops talking to you with no explanation or heads-up. Yeah, it sucks.
Because so much of relationships happen online, ghosting is a dream for non-confrontational people—all you have to do is delete without facing the person. It’s a practice that’s becoming all too common, even though it leaves so much unsaid. Getting ghosted can be confusing, especially when it feels like it came out of nowhere or just when a relationship was starting to get good. It can cause insecurity in its victims, yet it continues to be a popular method of "removal." This is definitely something our generation needs to stop doing.
4. Love-Bombing
Imagine you’ve started dating someone new, and right from the jump, they’re super affectionate—they text you all day, shower you with gifts, and flatter you with sweet words. Then, suddenly, out of nowhere, they completely switch their behavior. Congratulations, you’ve just been love-bombed.
Love-bombing happens when someone is overly affectionate and the attraction feels intense, but the behaviors are excessive and off-putting—like over-the-top flattery, gifts, and neediness. Love-bombing is just another example of how our generation substitutes real connections for quick, intense moments that fade as fast as they come.
These trends make dating seem exhausting, but while they’re common among our age group, they don’t determine whether or not you’ll find your person. I mean, we’re still young and exploring. As long as you’re intentional about who you date (and not just playing the game), these trends may soon be a thing of the past.
Keep Reading:
