Graduation: The Beautiful Lie
“What’s next for me as a young, Black adult in a society where the rules to ‘the game’ of post-grad life are constantly changing, I thought?”
Sleepless After Graduation
December 2023 was a pivotal month for me because I was about to enter 2024 as a degreed woman! My school doesn’t hold commencement celebrations for December graduates, so while I anticipated the May 2024 extravaganzas, I received congratulatory love from my family and peers while simultaneously going into my version of hibernation. This hibernation included applying for graduate programs, applying for internships, relocating to a new home, and taking much-needed social media breaks. The one thing I looked forward to doing after I graduated—having consistent, good nights of sleep—was halted because of the work I continued to do during my post-graduate hibernation. I was “sleepless” during the early stages of my post-grad life because I recognized the reality of being a young Black adult: having to be ten times better than standard qualifications to be impressive in society.
Picking a graduate program for myself was no easy choice. There were countless topics I was interested in studying, and because I’m so extra, I applied to many programs. This came with its own heavy workload: updating my resume and personal statements, and contacting different recommenders to exhaustion to ensure I got into some of the best graduate programs in the country.
As the pressure started to build, I needed a way to cope with the stress. To ease my mind and uplift my spirit, like many other R&B music aficionados, I turned to The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill. In Ms. Lauryn Hill’s song “Everything is Everything,” she says:
It seems we lose the game / Before we even start to play / Who made these rules? / We’re so confused / Easily led astray
I couldn’t relate more to these lyrics during my post-grad life, and they especially spiraled in my brain during the process of completing my graduate school applications. What’s next for me as a young Black adult in a society where the rules to “the game” of post-grad life are constantly changing, I thought?
99% Chance That Your Perception Can Change Your Reality
After catching up on Zzzs and reversing my sleepless days to restful nights, I woke up to the answers for livin’ my life like it’s golden (thanks to some insight from one of my peers). In a deep conversation, he let me in on how he handled his post-grad life.
My friend graduated from college in 2020 and had to face the realities of the volatile job market during COVID-19’s restriction peak. We grew up in New York City together and saw college as a way to escape our community’s pandemic of being crabs in a barrel. He’s always been interested in working in the music industry, but he soon realized it wasn’t as glamorous as it seemed. There was pressure to conform, to compromise his identity and authenticity as a young Black man in the industry. Through all of this, he stayed true to his passions and found ways to navigate the industry's challenges while maintaining his integrity.
“It was very hard for me to adjust after graduation, and I knew that I was entering an industry that had politics that I was trying to stay away from. What I mean by politics is the whole ‘it’s not what you know, it’s who you know’ mentality that the industry always uses that stops me from receiving different opportunities I know I deserve. But, I did make progress that I didn’t even expect to make in this industry and that’s what keeps me going.” - M.D (25)
His last sentiment not only made me want to say, "This is why you my homie!" but also let me know my friend’s success during post-grad was based on his determination and not the pressures of conformity promoted by the music industry. Our conversation especially gave me hope for the minds of young Black adults who can’t seem to catch a break in a world of TikTok videos telling them to follow the money. These social media perspectives prevent Black post-graduates from exploring their callings, limiting their potential and creativity. Instead of chasing after hollow definitions of success, they should be encouraged to seek out what truly fulfills them and recognize their worth beyond just financial gain.
On top of this, they remain unaware of reports proving that “money spaces,” like certain graduate programs, are abusive towards them. CNN reports on these instances by sharing:
34% of Black students at private for-profit institutions are more likely to report discrimination than those at public (17%) or private, not-for-profit institutions (23%)…Black Americans primarily attend private for-profit institutions and are spending a lot more money and time on credentials that they might not be able to receive.
Discrimination at educational institutions and jobs while the “rules of the game” are constantly shifting is tragic for young Black folks who just want to make it. I don’t know about you, but it surely makes me ask myself: Should I follow the mistreatment or my heart? After asking myself this question, I chose to be motivated by the triumph of my friend who stuck to his values, leading to his progression in the music industry. His post-grad life taught me that I should understand my values and then follow my heart.
There is Room for Triumph
My values led me to pursue a degree in English. My values led me to study the world of books fueled by the creative minds of Black seminal writers. And now, my values will propel me into the next chapter of my life.
When I looked back on my reason for pursuing English, I remembered the lost poems, photographs, and burned buildings by Black innovators I read about in my studies. These symbols of forgotten histories fueled my passion for Historic Preservation, the degree program I chose. This field offers the chance for me to safeguard and amplify Black history, making it more accessible and protected—something I am deeply committed to. Although the field is less than 3% Black and I’ll be transitioning from a historically Black undergraduate environment to a predominantly white institution, I won’t let these odds deter me. I’ll stay true to my passions and let my goals in Historic Preservation lead me as I pursue this field during my post-grad life.
After five months of living in a post-graduate world, I feel liberated because I chose to follow a path of authenticity despite the integration of financial burdens, identity crises, and social media peer pressures thrown at young Black adults. It is a very difficult road to drive on, but I hope that we can reverse the post-grad worries and control our narratives to recognize that our best is yet to come!